Temporary Reprieve in the Old 'Hood

We left the neighborhood in such a hurry to go say goodbye to Nathan, that we never said goodbye to our neighbors...

We are leaving Austin with a heavy heart, taking a gamble on a new community to lock in our financial future.  I loved the house (although a little small), but I loved the neighborhood more than anything.  People always complain that things aren't like the 50s anymore, but it was alive and well in our little half-moon community.  Kids ran from house to house all week, BBQs every weekend and holiday, neighbors looking out for each other in major storms and block parties.  It is such an idillic place.

But as I've said before, it was a place we could buy, but not afford if ever I lost my job.  The pandemic made me realize it was a house of cards that would too easily fall.  I'll always work, and have always made a comfortable income since I was a kid...but to be a true libertarian, free to make my own decisions independent of how it would impact my income, we needed to be completely in control of the assets that are core to us functioning (house, cars, emergency fund).  

While we are confident in our decision to move, we miss our neighborhood dearly.  Halloween was our first chance to go back to the old neighborhood and say goodbye.  It was perfect timing because all of our neighbors were out and we got to update everybody on how things were going.  

Hellen and Alisa were posted up in the driveway drinking wine and getting excited about all of the costumes, George and Tia Rosie were out with a table, AJ and Caroline were in their driveway for their second year (time flies) and Sam had a big ol' party in the driveway.  The Lindbergs had better costumes than their kids, with Lisa as a Go Go Dancer and Dave in a full Batman costume. 

After trick-or-treating, the kids went to the Lindbergs to watch a scary movie in the garage while we all drank beers and had a great time in Sam's driveway with Tejano music blaring. 

In the midst of all the craziness in our lives, it was so good to ignore it for an evening and spend time with so many friends.  I really hope we can recreate this when we land, but it's a tall order. 

That night the kids counted their candy and fought over who got more.  We all went to bed in strange beds, and I slept restlessly knowing our we would get back to our great staycation in the morning.

Offer #1 - Thousand Oaks

 A couple properties came up that weren't what we set out for, but with a bit of reframing, they could be viable.  

The first was a small place on the backside of town.  The street was trashed, the house was very small and backed up to a church (guaranteeing parking lot lights 24/7).  It was a "hard no", but it felt good to finally look at a place.

The second was a pretty run down property on 6 acres of land and I thought I might be up for a fixer upper.  

The location was just 7 min from Aquarena Springs on a two lane winding road through ranches and horse farms.  It was stunning.  The neighborhood was much like the Olden's old place in Montgomery Trace, with multi-acre plots and houses set back in the woods.  

When we pulled in, I had already decided I wanted to make a bid.  The people were home and very kind to us as we poked around through the house.  It needed significant work.  We would have to take it down to the studs in most cases but the layout was good.  

The property also had a 20x20 outbuilding (office for me!) with a kitchen and drywall and there was an additional 10x20 barn as well.  

We walked the property and Hannah and I went all the way to the back fence.  The Blanco flood plain was behind the property, so there was another but woods between us and the Blanco river.  I stood out there in total silence and let the potential wash over me.  

We said thank you to the owners and quietly got into the truck and drove back down through the ranches and horse farms in silence. 

I kicked it off and instead of asking "How much will we offer?", I gauged the silence and realized a mutiny was at hand.  I made a strong case based for the potential of the property:  Proximity to San Marcos, LAND, an office and future development ideas (ex. Airbnb, capital gains on sale in 5yrs) were a few.

Kim felt it was a money pit, claimed I was not as handy as I think I am (bullshit) and didn't have the desire for a project.   But what really resonated was her desire for close community.  She didn't want to be out in the country all by herself while I travelled.  She wants neighbors to rely on and BBQ with, people who will look out for our kids as they get into mischief.  

I mentally added this to the list of "must-haves" and we decided not to offer. 

But I couldn't shake the potential, and on my drive home the next day I called Kim up and asked her to trust me.  We can't afford our dream house right now, so we need something we can flip in 5yrs that will get us there and this property was the vehicle for that.

The offer was for $335k cash ($10k over) and we asked that all of the junk on the property be removed and that they have the motorhome convey if they couldn't remove it from the property.   

The offer was not accepted. 

Lessons learned:  Don't sweat the small things unless asked.  It would have cost us $1,000 to remove the junk, and we should have never even mentioned the motorhome (I wanted to turn it into a guest house).  Kim thinks we didn't put down enough money (likely), but to improve on the next one we won't give the seller any ammo to downgrade our offer.   Make it easy, make it good.

Tight Family and Rethinking the 'Burbs

 After leaving town so suddenly for a family funeral, then a week vacation in Mexico we landed back in Austin with nowhere to go.  Brother Erik kindly took us in.  

Erik lives on the east side of Austin in a new house purchased several years back.  I've never been fond of new builds as developers scrape the land of all character and mix up 4-5 layouts in a row.  They have a sterile feel and all too often they are built quickly and cheaply.  The irony that every house I've lived in originated this way is not lost on me, but after 20-30 years the trees grow and a neighborhood develops a vibe.

The Paseo house is 4 bedrooms and probably pushing 2,000 sq. ft.  We are coming from 1,500 sq. ft. and I can't believe how nice the extra room is.  The Olden family also chose wisely on the location of the neighborhood (hemmed in by Onion Creek and a State Park), and the location of the house (back of the neighborhood next to a major green space.  

The convenience of modern layout and amenities is also something I was not used to.  No oddly placed breakfast nook and undersized bathrooms.  A modern space for a modern family.  

As we think of our own house we want to buy this concept of buying new entered the conversation.  I don't know if I want to invest a lot of time developing the character of a neighborhood (or betting that it's quality will last), as opposed to buying into the vibe we want.  But the convenience is undeniable if certain criteria are met.  If the builds are quality, there is proximity to natural features (parks, creeks, etc.) and they neighbors show the same values (i.e. if grass is mowed and there are no broken down cars in the street) it's worth a shot.  

But rethinking the 'burbs wasn't the biggest learning from our two week stay at Paseo...spending time with Erik was the best part. 

Our families are so spread and even though Liz, Mark and Erik live close enough for a day trip, we usually only visit on special events.  We live day in and day out with our siblings until we leave the house, then spend the rest of our lives "catching up" on what we've been doing in 2hr sprints, competing for time.  

We all lived our normal lives while staying with Erik.  Erik worked from home during the day, then spent evenings playing disc or skating.  I have a hybrid work situation so I would come in and out throughout the week.  Kim and the kids continued to homeschool and attend classes periodically through the week.  The house was busy, but at the end of each day we would play a game together or watch disc golf without saying much.  No pressure to have "intentional conversations" to stay close...we were just close. 

I'm very grateful for Erik to take us in, and even more grateful to hang out and not just know about who he is and what he does, but be involved in it.  But a single guy can only take so much of our chaotic family, so before wearing out our welcome we moved on to San Marcos!

El Decomprescion

Herb Dyer (mentor, business partner and friend) told me that if I didn't take control of my time, somebody would take control of it for me.  In January, I became the Finance Director for four hospitals in some of the fastest growing areas in one of the fastest growing cities in the US.  Each hospital has unique strategic challenges, and each are operated by leaders (COO, CNO and CMO) with very different styles. 

In any new job I put everything on hold for several months while I work up the learning curve as fast as possible and this was no different.  It took about four months to get the lay of the land, restructure a few things and put out all the fires, all while working through COVID surges and a very memorable winter storm. 

While those fires were still smoldering the company started looking to the horizon and I began developing massive business plans that had systemwide impacts and would change the physical footprint our our network.  I've never worked so hard in my life, nor dedicated so much time (even compared to the Oil and Gas days).  

I blinked...and summer was gone. 

Herb's advice is sound, and while it would be naïve to think I can control 100% of my time, I had to put a flag in the ground and claim some time back.  Hell or high water, I was taking a week off. 

Fast forward, it's cool out and we are all in Detroit about to takeoff on a plane to Mexico.  We came prepared with Peppa Pig downloaded on the phone and tootsie pops in our bags.  Five hard won passports are in a fanny pack and an old Ipod shuffle playing in my ears.  Kim has Hannah, Henry is narrating everything happening outside the window and Amelia is in the front of the plane to get away from...well, us.

It took two days to decompress and disconnect.  In this brief clarity I learned a few things.   

Know Your Why

I was initially really upset that we were staying that the "Royal Princess Hotel", a cruise ship on land who's business is "capture and upsell".  It's damn near impossible to leave the place and they have a monopoly on any excursion you book.  "I came all the way to Mexico to swim in olympic swimming pools and eat at buffets?"

When I stopped being a drama queen I realized we came here to eliminate as many decisions as possible.  Not sure what to eat?  Enjoy the buffet.  Don't want to spend every day worried the kids will drown in the surf?  Enjoy your pool 20ft from your door (with a bar!).  

If we chose a dinner or adventure more complex, we had a rental car.  Some days we drove deep into the interior in search of Cenotes...some days I drank rum and played marco polo all day.  Travelling with kids is tough, and this was how we kept our balance.

Sometimes It's OK to Get Ripped Off

Akumal bay is covered with sea grass growing in 8ft warm water, so naturally it is a favorite for Sea Turtles.  Kim and I have been driving here for years and when we first came you just walked out and swam with the turtles.  The attraction grew and today it is fully “captured” and you will be upsold services at least twenty times before you even touch sand. 

I blew through the unofficial guides waving our car down in a very officially manner, declined another guide who was also looking after the carpark, blew off every bystander walking through town and finally got to the beach, now blocked by a building administering the protected turtle park.  OK, I’m into protecting turtles.  We paid the fee and learned that you cannot swim in protected areas without a certified guide. 

Normally, I would blow through this rule as well and go check out the turtles, but this wasn’t the teachable moment I was looking for.  In the end I paid about $20 for Amelia, Henry and I to swim with massive, beautiful turtles, schools of fish, lobster and squid.  At some point being frugal and “savvy” just makes you bitter and annoying and you just must pony up and enjoy the turtles.

Traveling with Children is Travel 101

I grew up as a non-rev airline kid and eventually married an expat kid before becoming expats ourselves.  We’ve been around, from parties at the Ambassador’s residence representing my company to remote motorcycle adventures through the Andes.  When we go, we get our own car and beat our own path to find the obscure and unknown gems everywhere we travel. 

So…it’s hard, but necessary to dial that back when traveling with kids.  I’m not saying we will go all-inclusive from now on, but they now have context.  Some of Amelia’s best memories were shopping in the local supermarket and walking around town at night.  We have to try different things we’ve previously written off to give the kids space to learn what kind of travel they prefer. 

In the end, eight days in Mexico driving 100km in every direction was one of the best weeks of the year.  We closed on the house from the bar, the kids flexed their Spanish and opened their eyes to all the adventure outside the states and Hannah was happy we are all together as usual.  

But for me, I got to chill out for a bit, get some perspective and claim back some of my precious time. 

Heaven and Hell - Moving, Death and Travel

It took a month to prep the house to list, and 1.5 days to sell.  All of the hard work we put into prepping the house paid off and we sold for an excellent price.  

The following month we finished the unfinished repairs so the new owner could walk in and start enjoying the place immediately.  Projects like the attic access in the garage and improved insulation in the attic finally wrapped up.  We also moved out belongings into storage as we knew there would be several weeks of "limbo" while we purchased a house. 

We were in a bit of a time crunch because we would be taking a long planned vacation in Mexico the week we closed, so we had to get everything sorted a week early.  And then out of nowhere, while dropping off plants at Mark and Kim's on the east side, a text came through that my step-brother Nathan had passed away the night before.  

My initial reaction was numbness.  I had just buried my older brother in Michigan two weeks before and I was drained...there was no emotion left to react.  Sunday was so busy and distracted that I still couldn't feel anything other than confusion and a little anger.  

It wasn't until Monday when I sat in my office in total silence that I pulled a pad out and wrote about Nathan for two hours.  

In my life, there are two archetypes of close friends.  I don't have a good name for the first, but they are ambitious, brutally honest, smart and can seem to be uncaring of your feelings.  To the average person they might seem narcissistic, but they care enough about you to stick by your idiot ideas and give you painfully honest feedback.  

The second is the Lionheart.  We all had at least one friend like this in school...the friend that doesn't care if you are a little weird and fistfight for you even when you are wrong.  As adults Lionhearts will call you out of the blue for no reason, they fiercely protect family (and family norms and tradition), they are the ones who help you move and they would literally do anything for someone they love.  

Nathan was a Lionheart.  He was my first call when coming to Detroit because he always looked out for us.  He took care of my kids when they visited on their own and even sent presents at Christmastime.  He also gave me those calls out of the blue, sometimes to see what was up, sometimes to ask for work advice.  He was a good friend and even though we have a family spread across the country, it was obvious to him that it was the only family we have and he invested his time and energy into it.  

There was no discussion about "if" we could make it to Detroit to say goodbye to Nathan...the question was "how" we would make it.

And that led to one of the hardest weeks of the year.  Constant pressure from work, literally jamming every last belonging into a storage unit, booking travel up north then down south to Mexico.  I was in my work clothes capping pipes before walking out the door of my favorite home for the last time and never stopped to look back.  

We made it to Detroit, we said goodbye to Nathan (a beautiful and comforting service) and somehow...someway, made a 7am flight to Cancun. 

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'

 I'm an accountant by trade and my wife an artist.  Oddly if you look at our DiSC profiles I'm an iD (influence/dominance) and she is an SC (Steadiness/Conscientiousness).  Both personalities don't match the career, but it's what we chose and with a bit of reframing over time it's worked out fabulously.

One point we've never really been aligned on is finances.  We are both (mainly her) pretty frugal and more money has come in than has gone out, so it's never been a pain point.  But we are getting up there and our dreams aren't getting smaller so we started following Dave Ramsey.  It started as an ironic purchase of a book we would likely never use, and turned into a tectonic shift. 

Absolutely worth the read

Over two years we poured all extra resources into paying off debt.  This isn't easy, but there are quick wins that keep your eye on the prize.  

First were silly credit cards (we never let this get out of hand, but always had a bit of credit spread about on consumer cards).  This was sorted in a matter of months with some tight budgeting.

Next were the bigger loans, which for us was a Toyota Tacoma and windows for the house.  These took over a year to pay down.  When we finally tackled these there was no overwhelming sense of ownership that I thought would come.  We maybe had a beer to celebrate in the front yard...but we probably would have found something to celebrate anyway.  

What we did realize was how much extra cash came in after those payments ended.  Every subscription, every card payment, every car note had a material impact on our bank account and our savings kept growing.  Cobbling together an emergency fund when the pandemic hit took mere months. 

Growing our savings became addictive, and in a matter of years we had all debt paid off...with the minor exception of our house. 

This all started before COVID and became more important through the Pandemic.  In times of uncertainty you take stock and prepare for the worst.  Financially we were right where in a great place, but realistically I didn't own my truck or house and couldn't last more than a few months if my income dried up.  

The pandemic continued, politics went off the rails and as the uncertainty grew, we realized we needed to do something about our mortgage.